first tutoring reflection

Walking into the hallway on my first day of tutoring was an eye-opening, nerve wrecking experience. At first glance it was easy to see that this is a school atmosphere I have never experienced before. Racially it is extremely diverse, from a quick overall assessment the school appears to be over 50% African American, 20% white, and 30% Latino. This racial diversity however does not hinder any of the children from academic cooperation. Esthetically Kiley middle school appears to be more on the lower socioeconomic sphere. The building is lacking many of the resources that i feel are necessary for a functioning school; there are no computers inside of the classroom and the text books are old edition and badly beat up. 

My main apprehension before my first day was whether or not I was knowledgeable over the material that we would be covering. Upon starting my actual tutoring experience I realized that knowledge was the least of my worries when it came to working with the kids. The two students i was given were apprehensive about answering any of the questions, even when it was just one on one time. I attribute this behavior to the idea of learned helplessness. After years of getting the answer wrong and falling behind they have a given up attitude. It is just easier for them to say I don’t know and let the teacher or their peers answer the question for them. 

My biggest challenged came when I was involved with the entire class. I forgot how mean middle school kids can be, unfortunately I experienced this first hand. While walking through the class keeping the kids on task I overheard a conversation between two girls. One girl whispered into the other ear, and the other girl responded, “I know you didn’t say Miss Cook was pretty because you know she ain’t pretty.” This was extremely hurtful to hear, especially from kids you are trying to help. I know that this back stabbing mean girl spirit comes from their own insecurities but I felt like I was back in middle school again. I hope that next week will be a better experience.